Snow day!

There have been quite a few days this winter where snow has been predicted.. But we've only gotten ice (Icemageddon, anyone? Ice-apocalypse?), sleet, frigid temps and..freezing fog?? Yea, we've had all that. So, my hopes were low when I heard we could get snow today. I wanted Cohen to get to play in snow this year..

I woke up at 8 to SNOW! Falling steadily to the ground! Cohen loved watching it out the window. Then he said, "Mom! Maybe we can get a jacket, and pants, and shoes, and gloves and go outside and touch the ice! and eat it!" No idea where the "eat it" came from.. And he kept calling it ice, even after I told him, "no.. finally it's snow!"

My little snow babies! This was Liam's first experience with snow, he did not love it. :)

This guy, though, he loved it.

He ended up crying because the cold was stinging his hands. Hey. We never get snow, we don't really buy toddler gloves. :-/

That face! My love. :)

Very fun. The snow's gone now, but I'm so glad he got to play in it.. twice. :) And it's still 20 degrees outside! Cooold!

Power wheels!

For Cohen's 3rd birthday, his Granna and Pop got him a Power Wheels Monster Truck. He was ecstatic, from the moment he laid eyes on it!!

I felt like he was too little, but... I guess he's not. It just seems like a 3 year old is too young. Like he shouldn't even have the coordination to push a foot pedal AND turn the steering wheel..  He even figured out how to go in reverse when he needed to.

My friend Amber, and her son Eli, came over to play one day while we were in Paris. He brought his Power Wheels 4-Wheeler, and they went to town! :)

He was a natural!

Eli was quite the daredevil!

Riding in the two-seater!

Something caught his eye!

And Eli followed suit!

Then we switched cars, and Eli drove Cohen's.

Cohen got a turn on the 4-wheeler.

There were crashes. :)

Every great play date ends with cookies!

Hanging out with Great-Grandmother Ivy!

One happy boy!

Love when Cohen gets to play with his little buddies! Can't wait to do it again!

Liam ~ 3 months old

Look at that angel baby! 3 months old already. He's turning in to a real sweetie pie. :)

I didn't weigh him at 3 months.. I know.. slacking. But, I bet he was 14 pounds. He has his 4 month visit in a couple weeks, we'll see then. He has great head control. He hates tummy time still..  He's made no efforts to rolling tummy to back. He doesn't really reach for any toys yet, but I'll put something in his hand and he'll assume a death-grip on it. He will grab my fingers and bring them to his mouth. He still eats 98% breastmilk. :) So proud. It was so hard with Cohen, so I'm just thrilled it's working a little easier this time. I did go back to work, so I have been pumping, for him to have my milk from the bottle when he's at home without me. Because also, this kid is not a fan of formula. I recently bought Similac for Supplementation, and he just won't hardly drink it at all. He was at least taking the occasional bottle of Enfamil.. so I may end up going back to that, for when (if) he runs out of pumped milk in a day.  I digress. He mostly gets breastmilk. 

His Colic. Is subsiding. :) I am one happy, relieved, thankful mama! He does not cry for hours on end in the evenings anymore. It really started getting better right around the 3 month mark, just like the books and articles said it would. Thank God. We needed the break. He needed the break. I am here to say, no products worked for him. Only sweet time helped him, as much as I wanted to believe gripe waters and drops and gas meds would help him. I think as mamas, we just have to know that we have exhausted every avenue.

Sleep... He still wakes once or twice at night to eat. Though, there have been 3 or 4 nights that he has slept between 6-8 hours in a row. Like last night, 8 hours in his swing! (He doesn't have his own room right now, therefore no crib set up yet...) Naps are pretty sporadic when I'm home.. Simply because he nurses when he wants, plays a little, fusses, dozes off, rinse, repeat. When someone is keeping the boys, he will wake, have bottle, play for a bit, and nap for an hour or two. I rarely get hour+ naps. 

He smiles and laughs everyday. :) He is ticklish on his little tummy rolls. He likes to be talked to, and I started singing him Soft Kitty (from Big Bang) and he just laughs! So cute. We introduced him to his Lovey, and he loves to bring it to his mouth and chew and slobber all over it. He likes sitting in the Bumbo chair for a while (but then he'll try to buck out of it!). We got out Cohen's old door jumper, and this baby loves it! He will just bounce and bounce! He likes to lay under his play gym...doesn't really reach for the animals yet, but likes looking. And he likes exersaucers, but we don't have one. He's played in a few of his friends'.

 outtakes:

And you know big brother has to join in... :)

Fun at Granna's house

Bathtime!

Animals and play gym.

Mama found a carry that he liked in the K'tan!

And door jumper fun!! Check out that grin!!

We're just loving this precious baby, with his smiles and giggles. Can't wait to watch him grow!!

How much is too much?

Do you ever find yourself struggling to take it all in? Striving to remember it all? Cherish every moment? I do. Everyday. I want to be this awesome record keeper, who remembers every single thing that happens to her family. When someone asks me, when did {one of your children} start teething? Or start crawling? What did you and Hector do on your {third} anniversary? I want to be able to answer those questions.

Or how about, those cute things your kids say? What was going through their minds when they were 3 years old? These are the things, guys! I don't want to get out of this sweet, child-like phase of life, and not remember all the golden moments.

But the truth is, I can't. I have a terrible memory. Like, the worst. I think this speaks poorly for my future memory-keeping skills.. I know what runs in my family.. This is why I have to keep a very detailed planner on my person at all times. So I can stare at it for hours a week, hoping to grasp what's going on in my life. If our pediatrician didn't call 2 days before appointments, my children would probably never go. Is this normal?? I don't know. But I know how I'm combatting it.

And this is what I mean by, How much is too much?

Every day, I try to keep up with all this:

This is my favorite. I write five little lines a day. It can be what we did that day, something cute Cohen said or Liam did, the way I felt a certain day, rough times we faced, or something special that happened to us. Whatever it is, I write it down. And for every day, it gives you lines for 5 years worth of recordings. I've just started my second year, and it is so sweet to go back and read last years writing. Things I had already forgotten, but that come back as soon as I read them. 

From Barnes and Noble

This is a new one I just started this January. Mostly because Cohen wasn't old enough before. Like the above journal, it gives space to write for three years. Differently, though, this one gives a question for each day for you to ask your child. To engage them in conversation. To show them that you care what they think, that you're listening when they ramble. It's a sweet time for Cohen, I'm finding. When he sees me get it out, he smiles. He knows I'm about to ask him a personal question, that only he can answer. It has nothing to do with baby brother, unless he answers that way. It's questions like, "What are you excited about?" or "Describe a time when you were mad." or "What do you see out your window?" And he's still a tad bit young for it. But I just help him on questions he doesn't quite understand, or I re-word it into something easier. I'm so excited to see how his answers change as he gets older.

From Anthropologie

And Liam's baby book. I don't necessarily get this one out every day, but I should. That's how often this baby boy is changing. :) I try very hard to keep it updated. I love to look at Cohen's, so I know I will cherish these records. And call me crazy, but I think my boys will want to look at these when they are old enough. :)

From Hallmark

And this doesn't even cover daily devotionals!! I use (and LOVE, and recommend) Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. I've never come across a more relevant devotional. Each day, it's as if the devo was written just for you. 

And our friend Leslie gave Cohen the Jesus Storybook Bible for Christmas. He really likes it. He asks to read it before bed. I've even caught him referencing it, since starting it. I drew him a rainbow the other day and he said, "Mom! Like God showed us!" I said, "Yes! It was a symbol of his promise that he would rescue us!" And he mentioned something the other day, about a tower. I said, "You mean like the tower of Babel?" He said, "Yea!!" :) Brings me joy to see him remembering Bible stories. 

So.. It may be too much, but it's exactly what I need to help me through the fleeting, yet rough months and years. 

AND, like I lightly mentioned.. I keep an Erin Condren life planner with me at all times. And I print our family pictures each year in a Blurb photo book. Keeps your pictures from being trapped on your hard drive and brings them out for all to see and enjoy--their original purpose, anyways!

I'll appreciate this paper trail one day. :)

Cohen at 3 years

Our big guy turned 3 years old yesterday. It's amazing to me that he's a little boy now. He's not even a toddler. He's a kid. I know we've had three years to adjust to the idea, but... he's just so grown, all of a sudden.

(resting in the recently-dug-out Bumbo seat for brother)

He's really a good boy. Sure we have our moments, when it's just him, me and baby here during the day. Tensions can run high. But that's mostly my fault. 

He loves his little brother. He will offer his paci back, if it falls out and Liam cries. He lays with him under the play gym, showing him how the toys rattle or play music, etc. He kisses him goodnight every night. If he walks into the living room and doesn't see him, he'll always ask, "Where's brudder?" :)

Cohen still loves his cars. And he has a ridiculous collection of them, too. We're gonna go a while without buying any. Promise.  But, he's branched out. He likes Nerf guns and monster trucks now, too. (big boy toys...)

He loves to play outside. Anything outside, he's there.

He's 90% potty trained! Still working on the nighttime. This is a huge victory, since we have a new one in diapers! (we haven't been for his 3 year checkup yet).

This year he wanted Chuck E. Cheese... and we're trying to move, so I didn't want to clean our small apartment. So we did it!

We did our own party at Chuck E. Cheese. And I must say, it's the way to go!

Their party was annoying.

Mama-made cake. :) It was rainbow inside!

Two of our five claimed tables. I did a light "Cars" theme.

Playing games with Pop! So glad they could come!

Uncle Josh and Cortney came!! Baby brother finally woke up, in time for pizza!

Birthday boy!

Miss Leslie and Daddy, with Colton! (Colton shares Cohen's birthday, but he's 1!)

Sweet pumpkin, getting Granna time!

All the daddies, with their boys! (Minus Cohen who was playing!)

Cory and Brooks, Tyler and Baker, Patrick and Colton, Hector and Liam

Josh and Cortney playing a racing game with Coco.

Pop was trying to "win tickets for Cohen"... yea.. :)

Maggie riding that weird bicycle ride... the kids love it for some reason.

Ugh.. Guess I didn't take a picture of the inside. :( It was beautiful and delicious. :)

A big thanks to Granna and Pop, Josh and Cortney, Leslie, Jackie, Patrick and Colton, Sallie, Tyler, Maggie, and Baker, Cory, Ashley and Brooks for coming out to celebrate our big 3 year old! He loves you all so much! (So do we!)

We are so, so lucky to be your parents, Cohen. You make us smile and laugh every day. We can't wait to watch you as you continue to grow and mature. It's amazing to watch. We pray the Lord watches over you and blesses and guides you. You are precious. You made us parents. We're so thankful for you. Happy birthday, Coconut!

Liam ~ 2 months old

Man, he's cute.

I wish I could say we're out of Colic Woods, but we're not. Almost each evening, I feel like I'm standing in quicksand, struggling to crawl out. He's eaten, his diaper is changed, he's not hot, he's maxed out scream time on his play mat, the swing doesn't help, the hair dryer makes him mad, he's clawing at his face with his little dagger nails that I can hardly trim because he clenches his fists so much... He looks at me with those wild, frantic, searching eyes.. And I want to cry, too, because I feel he's in some sort of pain that I just can't fix. It hurts my heart so bad to see him cry like this. It typically starts around 4 or 5 pm, and lasts until about midnight, when he finally gives out and goes to sleep. We just go back and forth, holding him until we can't handle it anymore.

It isn't every single night, but probably 5 out of 7 nights. And thankfully for my friend's or family's sanity, it hasn't been when he's around a lot of people. But sadly, for my credibility, I think that makes me look like a liar, or a whiner. No one but Hector and me have really seen him at the height of it. I guess my parents saw it over Christmas break.

And like everything I've read on colic, he's a great nurser. He gets plenty to eat, has a great suck and is obviously gaining weight nicely. Eating is a non-issue. I've given him formula a handful of times, because I've thought it would help, but in hindsight, I think he'd have been just fine without it.

He has turned into a co-sleeper.. He is most content when he's snuggled up next to me or Hector. Attachment parenting by default? haha. We won't continue this bed-sharing after the colic. But I know that for now, it's what he needs to feel safe and comforted.

New things we've tried? Sure. We bought a $20 bottle of Colic Calm. It's a black-colored gripe water. I think this helps a smidge. You can give it every 30 minutes x6 per day. We only ever gave 2-3 doses in a day. It causes black specks in the poop, beware. He liked the taste. At his 2 month appointment, I consulted with his pedi. She gave me a sample of Gerber Soothe drops for colic. It's a probiotic oil-type drop. He can have 5 drops a day. I haven't noticed a difference yet with this. I've given it 2 days in a row. Maybe like other probiotics, it will take a little while to kick in. I don't know if I mentioned simethicone drops last time or not, but we give those too. I think it helps him expel gas a little more, so at least he has less gas pains.

So, other than those measures, we wait. :) We wait for 3 or 4 months of age, when he'll be a little more calm (we pray!!).

Now, positives?

This boy is a TALKER! If you get up close to him, he will "oooo" and "gooo" and "cooo" your ear off! It's just charming. It melts away most frustration I'm feeling. And smiles.. oh, the smiles. That gummy grin is just to-die-for. The other night, he actually laughed at me! I was holding him around midnight, he was winding down. He had a paci in his mouth, but he looked at me, crinkled up his eyes and nose and gave me the biggest smile. Followed by a silent, exhaling laugh. Twice.

He's already wearing 3 month clothes.. 0-3 are getting a little snug! He is wearing some size 1-2 Pampers right now. Then we have a big box of gifted size 2's and little pack of gifted size 2's, then it's cloth for the boy! I don't want to waste all the diapers we were given, so that's why we are in disposables right now. He's gonna be too cute to handle when he has a fluffy butt! :)

outtakes:

Cohen was my assistant. Propping brother up, then jumping out of the picture when I said, "Now!" :)

"Oh, hi, Mom!"

Distracted by brother.

Distracted by window.

Starting to fall, losing interest/patience.

Happy 2 months, little Liam! We love you!!

my baby has colic

I knew we had it too easy with Cohen.

This pregnancy was harder, with being more tired and exhausted (albeit, probably from Cohen...).
This delivery was harder.. well, the labor portion.
And this precious boy has been the root of many tears and sleepless nights in our home.

Yes, he's my baby and I'm head over heels in love with him.

I've known since the beginning that he seemed unnaturally difficult, but I chalked it up to being tired, having gas, not getting enough breast milk, or [insert google answer to "Why won't my baby stop crying??? here].

You know something's awry when his grandma can't calm him, his own mom can't soothe him, and you start hearing comments like: "What do you do in the hospital when they cry??" or "You're a NNICU nurse, can't you figure out how to help him sleep?" yeaaaa..... I can assure you, no NNICU baby of mine has ever cried like Liam does. Ever. Plus they're sick and premature and in isolettes and I'd just prefer you keep those comments to your self.

I began to notice around 5-6 weeks of age that his crying periods were getting worse and worse in the evenings. I called it a witching hour, and went on about my day. "Colic" crossed my mind, but I dismissed it.. thinking I recalled some qualification of colic to be crying at least 16 hours a day or something irrational like that. Boy was I wrong. Today, on the eve of his 7 week birthday, I finally looked it up. Guess what? It's crying 3+ hours a day, for 3+ days a week, for at least 3 weeks in a row.

They say it peaks at 6 weeks, and starts to normalize by 3-4 months.

Ding-ding-ding! We have a winner! This is my son to a "T"!! Another site said, "Does your infant have a regular fussy period each day when it seems you can do nothing to comfort her? This is quite common, particularly between 6:00 p.m. and midnight—just when you, too, are feeling tired..."

I only say all this, because I know it is a weakness for me. I know that I was called to be little Liam's mother, and to love him the way Christ loves us. I also know this time is fleeting and won't last long. Soon he'll be giggling, crawling, walking, talking... it all goes too fast. This is only a short season in our lives. 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 says "For our present struggles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever. So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever." The Lord already prepared us for this! 

I also put this out there, because, I think I tend to put up a pretty front, letting everyone think it's all perfect. It's not. Now, I know, this is nothing compared to mama's dealing with infants/children who have medical issues, or anything like that. It could be WAY worse, and I know that. I just want to share our story, and what's helping us. So that it may possibly help another mama, dealing with a darling with colic.

Every evening, I feel like the world's worst Mom, because I just want to set him in the closet and close the door. Of course, I don't.. and would not do it. But Satan really works on your mind when you are so sleep deprived and your infant is shrieking at full force for hours at a time. I can't understand why he is screaming, or why my measures don't soothe him. After reading about colic, I understand that it isn't my fault, and it certainly isn't Liam's. He's just a new baby, trying to figure it all out. Liam needs extra love, extra hugs, extra attention. And by golly, even if I have to walk him for hours, with tears in my own eyes... I'll do it. I'll always do anything for my children-whatever it takes. 

"Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary." -Galatians 6:9

"And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." - 2 Corinthians 12:9

We employ a swing, a vibrating lamb seat, a bassinet, a rock-n-play sleeper, and multiple loving hands and hearts. Oh and the car helps a lot. :) I found the blow dryer noise soothed him a few days in a row--it no longer has an effect. The Dohm white noise machine did nothing for Liam, despite rave reviews. Lots of sweet talking with him, lots of Daddy-time (let's face it-he's tired of me by 4 pm!), lots of walking and bouncing, lots of back rubbing.. He's tricky, but he's not impossible.

And today's highlight? He gave mommy multiple little gummy, cheeky grins. I melted every time and yelled for Hector to come look. It was precious. He's cooing a lot now, too. I thrive on coos like they're worth an hour of missed sleep. :) Thank you Lord, for these little reassurances that he likes us and we're doing OK. 

We're going to keep doing what we're doing. We'll get past this. Thoughts and prayers welcome and appreciated.